ATTENTION WAL-MART SHOPPERS...

Just to be perfectly clear, my wife and I are very proud to consider ourselves Texans. We, along with the rest of the populace of this fine state, see many things about this state that make it unique and special. With that said, the unique and specialness was on full display during our visit to the local Wal-Mart this afternoon. Once parked, we walked by a quaint picnic area that resides in the lot just in front of the south entrance. As we walked by we noticed a young lady, probably our age, in what can best be described as her "Goodwill" outfit. She was frustratedly fumbling with her cell phone when a young man, probably a few years our junior, rushed up to her. The gentlemen was quickly greeted with a tounge lashing which he apparently was "unsure" he deserved. As the twanged voices escalated, we entered Wal-Mart quietly wondering to ourselves if we would be see the end of that conversation on a future episode of Jerry Springer. Once in the store, wandering through the frozen foods (yes, we grocery shop at Wal-Mart, we're from Texas for cryin' in the beer!)it seemed we had stepped into the Twilight Zone with a Deliverance story line (I can still hear the dueling banjos). Perhaps that was made more clear when the five teens in line in front of us, purchasing their lighter fluid and various cookout ammenitites, looked eerily like brothers although by their behavior we deduced they had various mothers. Certainly it was brought to our attention that we weren't in Kansas anymore when as we left we heard over the P.A. system "Attention Wal-Mart Shoppers! We have a special offer for all patrons ages 18 years and older! Every shopper in the store can come pick up your FREE pairing knife from our associate in the girls' clothing section! Our associate will be with you in THREE MINUTES! Come take advantage of this special offer..." Well, considering the shoppers we had seen that night, we felt it best to quickly exit the building and our doors are securely locked tonight. GOD BLESS TEXAS!